Lunch with a Muslim Womanizer

9 thoughts on “Lunch with a Muslim Womanizer”

  1. Although this is kinda sad, it made me laugh. I mean, these dudes are EVERYWHERE (some girls are like this too, but that’s another story altogether lol)!

    But look, being Muslim does not exempt these womanizers. And this is the WORST: the men who behave the worst with women are the one who will later cast the strongest judgment on their sisters (Christian, Muslim and Jewish in general). Believe me, brother, I have seen this wayyyy too many times.

    Before I was Muslim, I worked with international students–most of who were Muslim men. 90% of them dated, went to strip clubs, gambled, drank alcohol and even bragged about prostitutes. When it was time to go back home, they put on a self-righteous attitude and talked about getting a “good girl” back home. I have two good girlfriends whose “Muslim” boyfriends from abroad left them after more than 1 year of a relationship. These were two really good Christian girls (family oriented, smart, generally good girls).

    After a year of relationships, it was time for the men to return home. The two men put on an act of piety and righteousness. They couldn’t handle that they were non-virgins when they met, that the girls were not Muslim (two Christian girls), that they were professionals, that they were from different societies. All things they knew BEFORE entering relationships.These same men went to clubs, strip clubs, gambled, one lived with his girlfriend. Dear Lord, the hypocrisy! In these kind of things, nobody is innocent, but the hypocrisy is what gets to me. I hate double standards and I hate people (men or women) have the “whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” mentality.

    I always try to remember how much Allah hates hypocrisy. At the end, things may “stay in Vegas,” but Allah will always remember and deal with these things justly.

  2. You know, I learned this lesson a while back, and I’m not so sure why I was caught off guard by this. You learn to hold yourself to higher standards, and not to necessarily hold others, even Muslim, to such standards. I guess, despite this, you still want to believe that Muslims know better, or rather, that they should know better. I guess my naivete got the better of me, yet again. I gotta watch that sucker. I try to reserve judgment, but it’s, as F.Scott Fitzgerald said, “A matter of infinite hope.” “Let ye who be without sin cast the first stone,” right?

    I’d be curious to hear – or read – tales from the other side of fence, from a woman’s perspective, since you brought it up. You should blog about it. I’d most certainly read it! (Of course, I don’t mean to insinuate that you engage in such things).

  3. Oh my! How depressing. It’s official – I live in a cave. I had no idea. Pretty please do a mother a favor – marry as quickly as you can, have a son and raise him to think like you, so that he can marry my daughter!! Don’t delay.

    I think a lot about what kind of man she may some day marry. I want him to be as good as her dad and those are few and far between.

  4. Reminds me of an Uzbeki Muslim guy I used to know. Best thing to do sometimes is just to make du’a for them. Taqwa is definitely a mercy from Allah subhana wa ta’ ala.

  5. The hypocrisy also drives me insane. I was stupid enough to have a fling with one of these boys. At first he seemed genuinely nice and interested. But then things happened and now he treats me like some common whore. He’s absolutely horrible and I can no longer stand him. He is an absolute pig and I don’t know how I missed it. It’s hard to outright hate him though as I am great friends with his sister (who is amazing and nothing like him at all). I’m glad I read this though. Restored my faith a little in men. So thank you! You are amazing.

    1. Apparently, this phenomenon happens a lot, and prior to my conversation with this brother, I was clueless about it, perhaps because, in all honesty, it never occurred to me ever do such a thing. I know of and have heard of many Muslim men who dishonorably abuse the availability of women in the States against the mandates of Prophet. It’s quite unfortunate and infuriating, since it makes us all look bad, as if the Muslim male doesn’t already have enough image problems! How unwise and just plain stupid some people are!

      In the end, I take solace in knowing that this guy and others like him – Muslim or non-Muslim – who treat women poorly will ultimately have to answer to God some day. I’m not such what you’re religious affiliation is – or even if you have one – but I’m afraid that’s all I can offer in the way of an apology. And this moreover is not meant to defer the justice owed to women in this regard to the Afterlife; it should happen now.

      Yeah, some of us men suck. Perhaps most of us suck. But don’t lose faith in us entirely. Men and women are to complement each other, as garments for one another.

  6. I’m Catholic (female) and there are Catholic males out there who show extremely immoral behaviour, so no, it is not about religion. More about the individuals moral strength. Here in Holland Moslims have been known to take advantage of the total lack of morals of the Dutch girls but I thought I’d share a story about a Moslem who stuck to his morals.

    My brother had a Moslem colleague who went to disco’s quite often, often with Dutch female friends of his. One of these girls asked him to go to the bathroom of the club with her (yes, I’m being a little polite here, it was for immoral activity). He refused and she claimed that she was just testing him and said what a good boy he was. His reply to this has always stuck in my mind; he told her that she was not joking and that he respected her body more than she did herself.

    That story really did raise my opinion about Moslem males since then (I admit it had been rather low to begin with), but now I prefer talking to Moslem males more than Dutch/atheist ones because there values and morals are as conservative as mine, which is a refreshing difference.

    Thank you for sticking to your principles.

  7. Masha’Allah you are a great writer, you are right about surrounding yourself with people who will be influential in strengthening your iman. For converts especially, your friends can serve as your family members and on the day of judgement if your spouse or guardian is higher up in jannah, they will have the ability to pull all other family members up to join them! Sometimes when we feel an inward conviction about our actions Allah swt is trying to guide us, bring us closer to him, closer to Jannah insha’Allah. Your concerns about your circle of friends and profanity usage may be a way Allah swt is trying to bring these issues to your attention.

    Concerning the brother, we know that there are Muslims by name alone, insha’Allah he begins to practice the deen. Your lunch with him was the perfect moment, not to rebuke him but to share what you know about Islam, to remind him of how the Prophet (saws) treated the women in his life and to possibly invite him to pray dhur. If there is something I have learned about non-practicing Muslims, they never turn down the opportunity to pray, or even LEAD prayer.

  8. I stumbled on your blog via suhaibwebb.com and truly taken aback by your ability to capture reality so well. May Allah swt guide all of those out there who have such a great possession, Islam, but fail to value it by not living up to its values. Ameen.
    However, whenever you meet such people, always say “alhamdolillah” that Allah swt gave us the strength to be strong. It’s not easy especially when you see born-Muslims getting carried away by the distractions in this life.

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